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[27 Jun 2009|10:38pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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special cases / massive attack |
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It's Pride weekend in Toronto, and I went to see some good friends in the village on Friday night. The center of the village was closed to traffic and it was like walking through a massive outdoor party. I looked at the skyline to see the CN tower glowing with rainbow lights, and felt a sudden rush of affection for the very place I was in. The city is on strike, garbage is not being collected and because of this, the streets are filthy. We were literally wading through trash, and yet, my excitement for the night overruled my disgust and sadness at the state of the sidewalks. The notion that it is people who make a city what it is, was self-evident that night. What I saw barely phased what I felt. I think I have finally bonded with Toronto, lol.
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| productivity ftw / recession ftl |
[24 Jun 2009|06:28pm] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
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music |
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BRMC! |
] |
I'm feeling much better than I was a few weeks ago, although things still aren't perfect. An extensive 3 month job search and 100+ resumes later, and still no solid employment. Wtf, life?
However, I managed to replace my health card, get my G1, acquire a new phone, figure out once and for all my plans for school this fall, cut my dirty overgrown hippie hair, and get medicated all over the past two weeks.
Now I'm sipping an ice cold Tuborg and waiting on a friend with weed (who is a friend indeed, amirite?)
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[03 Jun 2009|01:43pm] |
I can't live here anymore.
Moving out will be awesome.
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[27 May 2009|10:18am] |
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music |
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von / sigur ros |
] |
I'm really enjoying A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, which I was finally able to start reading a little while ago.
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| meadowvale-- home of high school posers and crazy immigrant christians |
[22 May 2009|12:17am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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metric / sick muse |
] |
An elderly woman approached me today while I was waiting for a bus. She spotted me from across a four lane street, and j-walked directly to where I was sitting on the grass. She told me not to sit on the ground because it would instill a damp cold in my body which would activate itself during menstruation and give me terrible cramps. She proceeded to tell me that God is my real father and he would not make me ugly because I'm supposed to look like him. I was also advised to never 'lay wit a bwoi' because he would pass his demons onto me through the sexual act.
Oh, and that queasiness I feel when I do something wrong is actually Satan laughing and cheering from inside my stomach walls.
Good to know...
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[28 Apr 2009|03:33pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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broken social scene / ibi dreams of pavement |
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I watched Modern Times again this morning (yes, I'm still on a major Chaplin kick) and it's even better the second time around. I wish there was someone else with whom I could appreciate his genius.
Just checked my final grades for this year. After about a week of nearly pulling my hair out from the disaster that was my American history exam, I am extremely relieved. =D
Job hunting also went fairly well yesterday.
Now, I can almost rest; just still waiting to hear back about the exchange.
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[22 Apr 2009|09:45pm] |
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mood |
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relaxed |
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music |
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the brian jonestown massacre / sue |
] |
Bombed American history exam yesterday, but confident in my ~ownership~ of British history this morning. I'm all packed up, for the most part, and ready to head home.
I figured I might as well finish the vodka that's been sitting in the freezer since October. It was three quarters full and I have nothing to mix it with. So now I am half drunk alternating between musical piracy and watching Russell Brand's video blogs--which feels almost like having a real conversation at this point-- and thinking about what I want to eat at the airport.
I tend to be ceremonious in saving my hunger all day for my airport meal. I don't know why, it has become a ritual. I guess because I know I'm going to be sitting there for two, sometimes three hours depending on how the bus schedule works out with the flight time. Tomorrow I'm anticipating something of the salad variety. I also like to designate something to do, usually a combination of book and film for the trip, which generally takes about 11 hours altogether from the time I leave campus to the time I get into Pearson. This time I'm going to watch "City Lights" with Charlie Chaplin and read "Possible Side Affects" by Augusten Burroughs. I have a pack of Benson & Hedges with me. Last time I went home, for reading week in February, I had Belmonts. Wondering if this will have any noticeable impact on the journey.
Happy traveling, all.
PS-- I love this guy's pranks. He is rude and hilarious.
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| This is lovely |
[10 Apr 2009|03:04pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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the who / i'm free |
] |
I want to make some bell jar art. Does anyone know where I can find them?
Also, I'm actually looking forward to going home so that I can get my bike out again. Gyms make me really uncomfortable, and I need to get rid of the extra weight which has been slowing me down lately; spending most of the day sitting, writing essays or just procrastinating, has taken its toll. Quite obviously. Oops. :(
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[07 Apr 2009|03:47pm] |
Hurrah for extended due dates.
But head continues to collide with desk.
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| unf |
[30 Mar 2009|09:22pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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I wish Charlie Chaplin were alive today so I could marry him and have like 10 thousand of his babies.
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| fuck my life. |
[22 Mar 2009|03:55pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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music |
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led zeppelin for three days straight |
] |
due next monday:
10 page post-colonial english essay
5-7 page british history book review
due next thursday/friday:
10 page 20th c english essay, x 2
10-12 page american history document research essay
10 page philosophy "manual on how to understand/manage human nature" essay
5-7 page american history book review, for a book i dont even have yet
can i be dead now?
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[15 Mar 2009|05:28pm] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
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music |
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pixies |
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A little over a month of school left, including exams. Many papers to write, none started.
I just want to paint my room and play with my dog =(
But we are looking at Howl this week in American history, which should be fun. I hope the fact that I am writing my final paper on Lawrence Ferlinghetti does not make my professor think that I am going to be comfortable talking my face off in that class. He continues to challenge my decided status as observer, rather than participator.
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[29 Jan 2009|11:09am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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typewriter tip, tip tip / shankar |
] |
I think I am decidedly inadaptable to these winds. Left for class today, got halfway down the street and had to turn around and come back. The wonky right foot strikes again: I nearly fell over with every step.
In other news, I just bought this online:
icu dali, nietzsche!
But I am still waiting for my Ferlinghettis to arrive.
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[14 Dec 2008|11:46pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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the specials / too much too young |
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This really has been the longest two months of my life, as far as I can recall, and now I am finally nearing its conclusion...the end is in sight. A bit foggy and questionably gated, but it is definitely there. Three days, eight more hours of exams, one more trip to the bakery for some ~souvenir bread~ for my fellow Ontarians, and I'm done. With this semester, anyway.
My dad says that the family will be foregoing the extent of our big gift-giving tradition this year. Christmas day usually ends with piles of clutter and useless shit that none of us will ever use after a week's possession of it. I hope this means I get money.
The first thing on my imaginary wishlist is this fuckin' badass hat.
Happy non-denominational consumer based holidays, everyone.
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[03 Nov 2008|10:14pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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music |
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bright eyes / the movement of a hand |
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...scholarship more and more turns away from a primitive impression of existence; there is nothing to live through, nothing to experience, everything is finished, and the task of speculative thought is to rubricate, classify, and methodically order the various categories of thought. One does not love, does not have faith, does not act; but one knows what erotic love is, what faith is, and the question is only about their place in the system.
-Kierkegaard, from the "Concluding Unscientific Postscript to Philosophical Fragments"
I have a tendency to dislike you, Soren, but we do agree on a few things.
I am growing tired of being engaged in the type of scholarship he describes there. My own lack of creativity as of late upsets me. I'm convinced that I need to get away from this environment for a while to replenish it. Help me, you ghost. :(
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[28 Oct 2008|12:02am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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radiohead / gagging order |
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Came across this poem, seemed to say something to me.
Well, to be more precise, it made me a bit uncomfortable. But I suppose in a good way? I feel like I'm being called out on...something.
“To Love Life”
Ellen Bass
The thing is
to love life
to love it even when you have no
stomach for it, when everything you've held
dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands
and your throat is filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you so heavily
it's like heat, tropical, moist
thickening the air so it's heavy like water
more fit for gills than lungs.
When grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief.
How long can a body withstand this? you think,
and yet you hold life like a face between your palms,
a plain face, with no charming smile
or twinkle in her eye,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you again.
Also, I was re-reading "The Dead" and I am tempted to write yet another essay on it for 20th century lit. I read a lot of James Joyce last year. I have been searching for my own copy of Dubliners for so long, I've almost given up. If you see one around, please inform!
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[24 Oct 2008|01:03am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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I really, genuinely hate being a student sometimes. Having all these obligations and deadlines, usually ones I have to skip sleep to meet. Unfortunately it's all I'm good for, so I suppose I had better just suck it up and drink some redbull.
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| Love: the fourth madness |
[14 Oct 2008|03:35pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
] |
Good weekend. Bad ending.
And I almost missed my flight; that would have been balls.
I consumed copious amounts of coffee and guarana for the purpose of staying up to complete my philosophy paper. Needless to say, it didn't happen. My logic and intent are just not cooperating with one another. I'm trying to give my hopeful answer of "absolutely", to the question of "Can people who never fall in love achieve their full potential as human beings?"
But it's not adding up. Given the text I am working with, I just cannot bend the argument my way. It's like the words are sneering at me, all honest and spiteful.
I hate this topic.
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